


Not An Option

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-10-26
Updated: 2001-10-26
Packaged: 2017-11-01 11:16:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/356081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a door is slammed in Lex's face, he goes through the window.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not An Option

## Not An Option

by Random

* * *

"I'm sorry, Lex, but I don't feel that way about you." 

The words, hours old, still rang hollow in his ears. They were so clich in their sincerity, Lex had struggled not to laugh. He hadn't laughed. He hadn't said anything, and Clark had slipped away. Slipped through his fingers, and Lex was left fumbling to put together what was left of his... His what? His soul? His heart? 

Those things were taken away by a farmboy's feeble attempts at rejection. Did Clark even realize what he was passing up? No, of course not. Clark was a stupid boy, barely old enough to stay home alone, much less come over and play with real men. 

He'd been rejected. "I don't feel that way about you." Rejected. Like the defective freak he was. What was wrong with him that he couldn't get love from the one person who should be able to give it? 

His father didn't love him. His father barely tolerated him. Lex was heir apparent, and for that reason alone did his father take any time to teach and guide, molding Lex into his image. His mother had loved him. She told him that enough times, before the cancer ultimately ate away at her insides, making her rot before Lex's eyes. The only love he was worthy of was a dying woman's, a woman he barely remembered, a woman who didn't love him enough to stay alive. 

"I'm sorry, Lex." If Clark hadn't meant it, if Clark hadn't apologized, if that painfully beautiful look of remorse on Clark's face wasn't permanently etched in Lex's brain, the words would have been easy enough to ignore. That's how the world worked. 'No' wasn't an answer, it wasn't an end. It was just temporary impediment that had to be overcome. Where was always a way if there was enough will. 

But, he'd failed. Wasn't his father always telling what a disappointment he was? Wasn't Dad always pointing out how he could have succeeded, or succeeded better? He was a failure. A failed, defective freak mooning over a stupid country hick. 

No more. 

The pencil in Lex's hand snapped, bringing his attention back to the present. Lex Luthor didn't need love. Love was a weakness, a silly thing invented by poets. And, if Lex Luthor couldn't be loved, then he would at least be respected. And if he couldn't be respected, then he would be feared. 

With resolve, Lex squared his shoulders and spun his chair around to face the rising sun. From this vantage point, he could see three counties to the horizon. Where the curve of the earth met the sky, a new dawn broke. A new day, and a new Lex Luthor. 

Lex smiled despite himself. Who needed a simple poor boy from the sticks when the rest of the world lay just outside his window waiting for him to come and take it? 

This time, he would not fail. 


End file.
